This week has been a really hard but really good week. The best news is that I am totally better and back on the same schedule with my district!
Sheri Dew came to teach Relief Society on Sunday and that was awesome! She said, “We are so blessed to be able to participate in this work, because the reality is that we are all just a bunch of flunkies.” That thought actually really helped me this week– rather than be frustrated with myself and my weaknesses, I just prayed in gratitude for the opportunity to participate and learn. The truth is, I’ve been here for 5 weeks now and everything is still so hard! There are just so many things to think about all the time, and teaching my investigators is so different than preparing a talk or a Gospel Doctrine lesson because somehow trying teach a congregation was easier than now trying to teach to the needs of a single person. Constantly going through my head are worries like, “What do my investigators need? How is their faith being strengthened? Can I make sure this lesson about the Word of Wisdom brings them closer to Christ? What invitations should we extend that would stretch them without overwhelming them? How can I share this scripture effectively? What scripture meets their circumstances best? How can I simplify this concept without losing the purpose?” All that on top of, “What’s the Spanish word for this? How can I explain this succintly while using the words I know? What grammar principle needs most of my attention right now?” AND THEN I have a COMPANION, and if I neglect HER and thoughts of, “What can I do to be a blessing in her life right now? What could I be doing more to help her come unto Christ? What should I stop doing?” than NOTHING works because if things aren’t gelling with us, all of our efforts are lost because the Spirit can’t be with us! I have never been so mentally busy in my entire life.
That being said, I have to testify of the power of the scriptures in bringing peace to my soul. I am being stretched to my very core right now! I have never sought for or thought I needed the peace of the Savior so much before! And I can tell you guys that there is something so miraculously calming and healing to my stressed, distressed, stretched soul when I immerse myself in the scriptures. I think we learned at baptism that sprinkling just doesn’t cut it– total immersion is the only thing that works. For me, where I am right now, that means praying sincerely for help, writing down all the questions I am seeking answers to, and then just searching for inspiration through the words of our Savior and His prophets. I don’t know everything, but I do know this works and I am finding real answers and peace. My strength comes from His Spirit, which comes as I search the scriptures diligently, believing I can receive what I need through them. I could not handle what this training is requiring of me without it.
I wish I had more time to tell you guys more stuff, but I hope we all remember sufficiently that what we have, the knowledge of the gospel, is a gift.
Happy Fourth of July!
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